wishes

The Cross-stitch I began when I found out I was pregnant.
I finished and framed it for our home.
The butterflies hold much more value now....

There was a time that I believed that wishes were evil.  That "hope" and "prayer" were acceptable...righteous, even....but wishes, they were things out of fairy tales. They seemed secular, out of the church-box...


A "wish" is really a verb-
To "wish", according to Webster is to " Feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable."


I have wished...


I have wished more in the last month than I have actually "prayed"...
a wish is not something made with the mouth(sorry genie)...but a cry of the heart.


...and in no way did this wish leave out the will of my Heavenly Father. 
He invented the wish. Formed my heart into a being that could choose, could think, could feel.


So, did He create me to wish?


No.


He created me human, to walk with Him in the garden, in perfection, in nakedness, without anything being unattainable, with His face in my presence, with my desires met, without pain, without a reason to "desire hope".


But we are not in that garden.  I do not live in perfection...because I, just like Eve, have chosen again and again to walk in my own knowledge, make my own plans, seek my own will.  If I had gazed into the eyes of the serpent, I would most likely have joined forces with him in order to gain control and power....I am selfish. I am sinful.


So welcome to this earth. This beautiful, sinful earth, where God's kingdom is rising, growing, praising His name...but where the enemy continually lurks waiting to take hold of the unprotected areas of our lives. 


Welcome to the tension....between who we are and who we should be.


Although it may not seem like it, let this be encouragement:
that hoping in Him, doubting Him, arguing with Him, banging on His chest, crawling into His lap...they are all part of relationship-
And THAT is what He created you for.




I leave you with a picture of the "reading room"...Branson's former nursery and now our place of refuge(unless I leave my clean clothes in the chair)...It is being used well.....