And, so, I paint....

I have been on a rampage in this house.  I am afraid that if the kids stand too close to the wall, that I may just paint them as well.

It is how I deal.  I didn't know this until I lost my Papa.  We had a set of bookshelves planned out for Jaden Lily.  When he died unexpectedly, the bookshelves remained unaccomplished.  I had all of his tools.  I had the plans.  I knew, without a doubt, that I had to build these bookshelves.  I had never taken on such a project....not without him.  But I did it. I built them....sweating in the hot summer garage, wearing his tool belt, feeling the leather rub my back...using his saw, painting, talking to him...the whole bit.

It was the best therapy I could have ever had.

I have so much trouble being in the moment.  I know that is where He wants me.  Who wants to go on a coffee date with someone looking at their watch, ready to leave, looking for the next event? That is no way to invest in a relationship. No.  He wants me to rest.  To sit with Him.  For me, this happens when I am painting.  Whether it is a canvas or a wall, the rhythm and focus allow me to respond to Him in a different way.
I can listen.
He reminds me over and over that He loves me.

So, I paint...investing in this home and this family that I love...knowing that running will not heal me, but running to Him will.

I'm so forgetful, but you always remind me.  
You're the only one that brings me peace.
So, I come, Lord I come.
To tell you I love you.
To tell you I need you.
To tell you there's no better place for me than in Your arms.
To tell you I'm sorry for running in circles,
For placing my focus on the waves, not on Your face.
You're the only one that brings me peace in the storm.
- United Pursuit