Yep...There she is...in all her glory.
She was born at 9:08 this evening 10 years ago after 16 hours of induction. I was 19, unmarried, and scared.
I love hindsight. I would actually prefer to live in hindsight forever. It is so much clearer....like the last 2 chapters of a good novel that tie up the loose ends so gracefully. Sometimes, at the end of a good novel, you get a good hint of what is to come....as sequel- more. This is where I was the night that Jaden was born.....with a glimpse of hindsight and a good hint at what was to come.
It is pretty easy for me to see back down the road I have walked thus far. I see the hills and paved places...times where I coasted- no pedaling- hands raised- hair blowing. I remember the trudging, the potholes, the gaps and canyons between where I was and where I wanted to be.
But mostly, on that road, I see Jaden. I see the baby born to a baby. I can see us growing up together...her teaching me, me teaching her. It is almost impossible for me to remember back before she was here. She has become as much a part of who I am....yet, she is herself...her own person with her own will, spirit, choices, future. I am learning, still, to walk beside the baby I have carried so long. It isn't easy.
I have long stated that God gives us children to teach us what we need to learn- like a giant mirror to reflect the rough edges that need sanding....a hi-liter to indicate the places where we need Him.
I pray that I continue to grow and change and mother....but I also pray that I do it with patience, humility and grace.
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