Life and Death

Your Love is sweeter than honey. Your love is stronger than death. Your love lifts me of my burdens and teaches me to dance.

2 births and 2 funerals in 2 weeks.

I am overwhelmed with the inability to comprehend such entrance and exit of life.  

Landry Thomas Bounds

Within the past two weeks, I have welcomed a niece and nephew.  I have basked in the glory that is new life, kissed wrinkly toes and watched tiny tongues move inside tiny mouths. I have watched my baby cousin become a daddy....watched his spirit rise up into fatherhood with passion and energy. I have watched old parents become new parents again...once again immeshed in the newness.  It is all so beautiful.

Evelyn Ann Bounds

And then, we watch those we love slip away.  Some slowly....like my Mama Jean, who lingered in bad health for over a year, slowly slipping into more and more pain, more and more confusion. Her death, although somewhat expected in her 80's, still left a hole...a void in family...the end of an era.

Or they quickly are taken out of our lives.  My dear Aunt Nancy was diagnosed with cancer only a few weeks ago.  Tomorrow, we will bury her.  I watch as we stand numb and shocked...almost stunned still by the sudden robbing of life.  We hand her to our Father.....with much pain and reluctance.  We want her here.....

Daughters left with questions....Husbands left with emptiness......Sons left with heartache.....Grandchildren left with confusion, loss, the presence of weeping and weakness among those they see as strong......

So much....

So much.....

So much......

I had no idea Branson's death would be enveloped by such events. I had no idea that God would have me in this place.  I saw a tunnel and hoped that once I reached the end that I would find peace...no more trouble...no more heartache.

What a foolish thought.  Is there a place on this earth where I would find myself NOT needing my Father, my Savior?

Is the end of this tunnel on this earth.....is not the end of my tunnel heaven itself?  I will always need Him...and He is teaching me....teaching me that I will always need Him, that He wants me near Him, dependent on Him...loving Him, Praising Him....

He is teaching me to pray, to lean, to bow, to submit.....but to do it with my arms High, my chin up, my heart in reverent understanding that I am a daughter of the King, that I am beautiful, that I am His....

He is teaching me to sing...teaching me to love, teaching me to dance.