Hindsight being 20/20 and all.......

  At 7 am this morning, Jaden Lily and I head will be on a plane to Belize City, Belize for 6 days.  If you would have told me that we would be in this position with this opportunity six months ago I would have deemed you loony.  With a baby at home, bills coming out of our ears and a busy summer, I had put off the idea of missions for a while.  We would serve here, do some local outreach, and then maybe somewhere down the line, I would look for nice little safe mission opportunity for the kids....maybe stay in the US even.

What I felt was an overnight jolt of God's prompting, was really a long series of preparations for this event. Isn't that so often the case? You look back in hindsight to see all the indications, the trainings, the preparations or at least the ways He kept you on that particular road.  In the moment, it is rarely that way...but hindsight is so beautiful.....

Jaden Lily announced one Sunday after church that she really wanted to go to the Belize Mission trip they announced at church.  It went something like this:

Jaden- "Mom, they announced this trip and I really want to go."

Is she crazy? She's 11.  Oh my gosh....that is going to be so expensive.
Me- "Well, we will check it out...go ahead and sign up that you are interested."
Ohhhhh, wow...foreign soil....she's my baby...this will be good for her, though...but ohhhhh wow.

Jaden- "if you are under 12, you have to have a chaperone"

ACK!    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
How in the world could we afford that?! Maybe she could lie about her age.
There is no way. She will be so disappointed. We will do something here instead.

Me: "Ok, we will figure it out, baby:)"

Will: "You're kidding, right?"


And so on and so forth....I had almost zero....count it...zero faith that this would happen.  The cost was so much and the time wasn't there. Will had to work. Who would keep the other kids? How was this even possible?


I didn't verbally express all of this faithless negativity....but it seeped into her innocent, sensitive heart anyway. She began to indicate that she wasn't sure if we could do it.  "It's so much, mom. We need to use money for other things. It's ok if we can't."

Duct tape bows Jaden made to raise money 

I found myself saying things like "Of course we can get it! God laid this on your heart and He will provide for it, J! Don't worry. Have Faith!"
All the while thinking to myself ..who is saying this? Really?  I am not so sure...

As I continued to talk to people the energy about the trip exponentially grew.  I had a conversation with the financial pastor at church.  "What do I do if we ask for help and still don't get enough? Do we send the money back?" His answer: "That's never happened on one of these trips. The money always comes."
Alright, the money would come....but what about my baby on foreign soil....what about her innocence?
God continued to pave a road for my heart as well. He used a blog I follow answered that question..
You should check it out. Carlos' blog.....he's legit.
He reminded me that this world was huge, wild, scary and even sometimes evil....
He reminded me that it is my honor, privilege and responsibility to walk her through it.

Jaden Lily volunteering at Angelic Ministries with other
members of Fuse Church

I have seen countless of my friends walking life with their kids this summer...not just to waterparks and pool parties, but to poor communities, to homeless shelters, to build houses, to plant flowers, to give out water, to love on people. These parent-peers have motivated me, confirmed for me and challenged me to do more of what matters with my little world changers....




I could tell you a hundred stories over the course of the last year that led up to this amazing moment with my girl.  The fact that she worked so hard preparing, the fact that she had so much faith, the fact that she is beyond excited, the fact that she spent the year leading others.....God is pretty amazing...and it is so clear in hindsight.

By the way, ALL the money came in...donations of $1, $10, items for a yard sale, work to be done and money to be made....even one whopping $350 check that I had no idea was coming....
Before any of this money came in though, I will tell you of two specific stories.

A rainy yard sale with nothing special raked in over $250 because of
kind a generous giving....

Just in passing, before any final commitment had been made, Jaden began speaking about the trip with her aunt.  A few minutes later, her aunt came back with all the cash she had on her... From this moment on, Jaden was keenly aware of God's provision over this trip. It ignited a flame in her.
I, on the other hand, had just learned the price of passports and the time needed to get one. In order to get them back on time, we had to go ahead and get them before any money was donated.  We reluctantly took money from our savings to do so. It was a small amount to most people, but a huge gesture of faith on our part...to say that we did it with joy would be a lie.  As the money came in we were ecstatic to find that after three months, we had enough to go!
It wasn't crazy God had asked us to step out and pay for the passports. Not at all. In fact, it made sense to me....that He would have us commit, take a step forward, pitch in....
But, although it seemed like a nice idea, that was not His plan.
Instead, my uncle stopped by out of the blue with a check for the exact amount of the passports.....God didn't want us to just have "enough"....like so many times He wanted to give us more.

Passports:)

So here it is....10 pm on the night before and I have barely packed a thing...forgive the typos and lack of punctuation.... I am nervous about leaving a 15 month old...about taking my big baby overseas....about not being cut out for whatever is ahead....
Jaden Lily is about to learn, grow and give.....We are beyond thrilled to be partnering with many of you to bless others, to advance the kingdom of God and to walk life with our kids.  If I had known that this opportunity was coming, I would have read more, prayed more and saved more...but then I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the hindsight.